With Valentine’s Day upon us, it’s time to share the official awesome to bullshit scale of chocolate. I’m not a Valentine’s person. In fact, I had the strangest thought in Target recently: “I should get Henning a Valentine’s Day card.” I was almost pulled in by the pretty displays, but I got my wits about me and moved on. It’s not that I don’t want to tell Henning that I love him on February 14th; I love him every day. It’s that I don’t want to be told when I’m supposed to be extra amorous. Sure, I go with the flow of when I’m supposed to buy presents for everyone, when I’m supposed to eat turkey and drink gravy, and when I’m supposed to buy chocolate bunnies and dye hard-boiled eggs, but I draw the line at buying over-priced flower arrangements and sappy cards. There’s always a line. [Side note: For Margaret, I make an exception and buy Valentine’s for her class and spend about an hour putting them together with her. We talk about “Valentime’s Day” and how it’s a day to tell your friends that you appreciate them. Also, she gets to wear pajamas to school, so clearly this is the best holiday ever.]
There is one thing I can get down with on this most lovey-dovey of days: chocolate. I have some pretty strong feelings about chocolate. Chocolate is my indulgence. When I was growing up, my sister and I would trade candies at Easter and Halloween—I would give her all my fruit-flavored candy and she would give me chocolate. My taste for chocolate has changed over the years because I’ve realized that there is some damn fine chocolate out there (I had an Earl Grey infused dark chocolate truffle recently: mind blown). Also, I have my own money to buy it now, unlike when I was 7 and thought Hershey’s kisses were the best things ever.
Without further ado, I give you the awesome to bullshit scale of chocolate (note: this is about chocolate in its pure form. Don’t even get me started on chocolate desserts and other chocolate confections. There aren’t enough hours in the day.)
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