A few days ago my sister posted this picture of my niece on Instagram and tagged me because I made the little onesie she’s wearing (and because she’s my niece).
I commented that she was so fancy and cute. My sister and I have a running joke about babies wearing business casual clothing—biz cas, for short. Now that I’m writing this, maybe it’s not really a joke. We just like talking about and finding outfits for our little ones that fall into the biz cas category. For girls this classy attire would be along the lines of dark baby jeggings and a long blousy tunic, a pair of black leggings and a smart sweater, or a dark pair of jeans and a dressy cotton top. The shoes for these outfits would be boots or Mary Janes, obviously. For boys, biz cas could be dark jean and a button down; some cords and a nice sweater; or khakis, a button down, and a tweed blazer with elbow patches. The shoes would be oxfords or a nice pair of loafers. Adorable. Margaret is pretty much casually dressed for success all the time.I know there will come a day when she starts dressing herself, but I secretly hope she’ll let me pick out her clothes until I’m certain I’ve sufficiently influenced her style preferences. For instance, I love jeggings and leggings. They are my yoga pants. I wear them, and Margaret wears them. We leave the house sometimes, and I realize we’re dressed similarly and it’s not even intentional. Margaret recently wore a pair of regular cut jeans and didn’t like all the fabric around her ankles. She kept telling me that they were too big. She also told me that the waist was too tight, even though the jeans were practically falling off of her. She’s not used to a regular waistband, with a button and zipper, since her jeggings have an elastic waist. I ended up having to change her into a pair jeggings. I might be creating a fashion monster. Don’t care. I also realize that all this semi-fancy clothing is hard to keep clean, and you might feel rage if it gets ruined because it’s so darn cute. I didn’t say this clothing approach was practical. It’s why I should buy stock in OxyClean so I can pay for all the OxyClean I use (seriously, I have a stain removal system that would make me sound like a crazy person if I share it, if what I’m saying here doesn’t already).
Anyway, after liking and commenting on the picture of my niece, I started thinking about how she was dressed in her cute biz cas onesie and how funny it would be if she went to a baby meeting in that fancy onesie. (There you have it, folks—a little peek into how my brain works: see a picture of a cute baby dressed in her finest duds, and my mind wonders to what it would be like for her to attend a business meeting.) From there, I started thinking about what would be on the agenda of this baby business meeting. I think they’d talk about crying for hours on end and trying to decode why their parents can’t figure out what’s wrong. They would conclude that their parents are idiots (a conclusion that will stick with them well into their teen years). They might speculate on why their parents like to retrieve discarded pacifiers so much and come up with more creative ways to chuck the paci. All in all, it would be a productive (both in decision making and pooping), but long meeting since there would be a lot of breaks for nursing/taking a bottle, napping, and changing diapers.
Here’s what I imagine the agenda would look like. And, of course, all the babies would be dressed in their finest biz cas.
As a follow-up, lest you think I control everything that Margaret wears, she woke up from her nap on Sunday, and dictated this outfit to me: bloomers, tights, and a long-sleeve shirt. At least it all sort of matches and at least she wasn’t going to a meeting.
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